Digital Voices

Krista’s speech

I believe life is not fair. Life being unfair teaches you lessons in life itself. There are certain things that we are put through on this earth to make us the people that we are, and mold us into the people we are meant to become.

Throughout my sixteen years of life I have learn a lot from life not being fair. One thing that I have recently endured was when I was fifteen years old. I was diagnosed with Panic Disorder, something I used to consider not fair and maybe to this day somewhat still isn’t, but that’s life, and if it wasn’t for Panic Disorder I would not be the person I am today. I went through many painful and rough times over the past eight years, and not only with Panic Disorder. You learn at times things get tough, but tough times don’t always last; tough people do. Panic Disorder was dealt in my cards and there’s a reason that it was given to me. I consider myself a stronger person today because of my Panic Disorder. Throughout my whole experience I was just searching for a so called normality when in fact I never appreciated myself for who I truly am, Krista, a strong, independent women that has Panic Disorder. Instead of looking at the glass half full I always viewed it as half empty, when really by having Panic Disorder I gained many great traits. Sometimes stepping back and taking a minute to view things a different way can help you understand the situation or work through it.

I always was told that I cannot let my disorder control me, and for the longest time in my life, it did. I wouldn’t leave the house for weeks on end because I had such a fear built up inside me that needed to be let out. I needed to feel free, to feel as if I was safe. The only problem with what I wanted was I couldn’t gain the strength to push through to make the first step. I needed to be pushed, but I learned sometimes you don’t always have someone there to push you. In my life I had always had the background noise of dealing with my parents arguing continually. This started to occur more and more often when my Panic Disorder came out. I understood that my parents had been both hurting and were dealing with a rough time in there life, and I knew that I would have to grow up at a young age to get through life, or else I would be sitting there waiting for my parents to come around, and waiting for them is like waiting for a lifetime. So this is where I’m forced to push myself. You might have to find the tools to push yourself. I had to be pushed to the point where I would do something for myself, because I didn’t have the people there to do it for me.

On occasion life may come at you hard, but what separates the strong and the weak is how you handle yourself in certain situations. There is no dependence that can be sure but the dependence upon oneself. I believe the weak people in this world ultimately let things break them down and run away from their problems. The stronger people of this world find that strength to keep going deep down inside them, and step up and take control. During the rough times in my life, I continued to lose faith. I think having faith is an important part of life, but I don’t blame you if you feel as if at times you lose faith. I found myself losing faith in a certain point in my life so one day I went to the store and got materials to make a bracelet which contained the word “Faith” on it. After I had bought my materials I had gone back home and worked on the bracelet until it was finished. I had gone through my whole day with such a high because I felt if I wore this bracelet I had faith. When the day was over and I was about to go to bed, my bracelet broke. At first I stopped what I was doing and just sat there, I felt as if I had lost a part of me and felt like crying. Then I looked down to pick up the piece of my bracelet to then go fix it and perfectly placed on the floor was this “ F A I T H” I could not find the string, beads, or the other letters that had spelled out my name next to it, just the word “ F A I T H”. It was then when I realized that faith is not contained in a bracelet, but it lies within the heart.

Every so often I think to myself what a horrible thing to deal with or go through, Panic Disorder and my parents, but in the end I know people learn and grow from their struggles, just like I did. People understand life isn’t fair, you hear it all the time, but the problem is people do not except that life is not fair. I think people focus on so much of the negative in life that they never stop and look at the positive things that we are blessed with. Each time a door closes the rest of the world opens up. All we need to do is stop pounding on the door that just closed, turn around—which puts the door behind us—and welcome the largeness of life that now lies open to us. The door that just closed kept us from entering a room, but what now lies before us is the rest of reality. We need to welcome that reality and believe in it.

God does everything for a reason. I know each person has a set out plan for them, and I know God wouldn’t put anyone through anything they could not handle. Things may be super tough, but in the end you can walk away with two things, knowledge and strength for the next obstacle you may face. I also think life not being fair is what makes it so interesting. If we were handed everything on a silver platter things would get boring, no one would work for anything, and most importantly we wouldn’t learn anything. That certain challenge in life would be taken away. Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself. People tend to dwell on the things they cannot control, which can make things in life rough.

I do not want people to think life is not a fun experience, nor do I want people to take from it that once you get over and obstacle you’re finished with rough times, they always occur no matter what you may have just faced. The beauty of life is that it hands you many hardships in which you have to find your strength. I think of life as an hour glass glued to the table, you only get a certain amount of time on this earth and I think we should live it to the best of our abilities, no matter what our given situation is. Let you life speak.