Jamie’s “This I Believe” podcast
Jamie
I believe in forgiveness. What would you do if you were angry at a loved one, you had gotten into a big fight with them, and then a bad thing happened to them? Most people would feel horrible. When I get mad at a person I make sure they know I forgive them before I go anywhere. I don’t want the last thing I say to them to be hurtful or something I don’t mean. Everyone makes mistakes, so why should I hold onto all the mistakes they make. I know that if it were the other way around I would want people to forgive me for the mistakes that I make.
There are many times in my life when people have done something that has made me really mad. Many, many people have made me angry, hurt my feelings and just plain lost my trust because of things they’ve done. It hurts me to not forgive them because I care about them, but at the same time they need to at least acknowledge that they’ve done something wrong. When things like this happens to me I can’t help but feel bad because these people are such big parts of my life, but I’ve been hurt a lot in my life by people I really care about and I’ve just gotten to the point that I can’t deal with it anymore.
The most recent time I was really hurt by a loved one was when a really good friend of mine just stopped hanging out with me and barely talked to me. Even though she denies the fact that she did anything wrong and she says that it is entirely my fault, it still hurts me that it’s been months and we still aren’t like we used to be. It’s gotten to the point that I just can’t care anymore. I’ve learned to block it out, because there isn’t really any point in me caring so much when she doesn’t care at all. I’ve always made it a rule that I wouldn’t stay mad at a person that’s important to me for very long because my biggest fear in life is that I will loose someone I love, and if I stayed mad at them and then a bad thing happened to them I would feel really bad. Even in this circumstance it just kills me that it’s been this long and I haven’t forgiven her. But like I said before the person needs to acknowledge that they’ve done something wrong, and it seems like everyday another thing happens to make it worse and she doesn’t see how much it hurts me.
Besides this time I have always made sure that people know how I feel even if we have just gotten into a fight. It kills me that they don’t know how I really feel. So if I truly love someone I try not to stay mad at them for longer then a day. I forgive them because even though I am mad I would be even madder at myself if I didn’t. Over the years I have gotten into a lot of fights with friends, siblings, and parents, but I can’t stand too stay mad at them for longer then a day. If I love them I don’t want the last thing I possibly say to them to be something I will most likely regret.
I think forgiving people is a really good thing to do because everyone makes mistakes. Holding a grudge and not forgiving people for the things that they do wrong hurt that person and it could possibly hurt you in the end. When it’s all said and done it’s a lot better for everyone involved to forgive people for things they do, instead of holding it all in and making things worse.
March 28th, 2007 at 11:44 am
Good job. You have taken quite a risk and you should be very proud. Some feedback:
At times, I felt you talked faster than I could process. Nervous habit or too much caffine is usually what does that to me.
As I listened to the speeches, I noticed a pattern where the last sentence repeated itself at the end of every paragraph. I did not see the same pattern in your speech. Was there a reason for this?
Overall, well done. I a proud that you took the risk to be heard and talk about such a personal issue.
March 28th, 2007 at 12:50 pm
Jamie,
Wow! You talk about a very heavy and important topic. I hope that you and your friend both find your ways back to each other and to the forgiveness that you talk about here. Thanks for hitting home the notion of making the last thing you say a positive one. I’ll take that to heart.
March 29th, 2007 at 12:04 pm
Yea I agree its best to forgive someone,but somtimes you just cant no matter what. For example my best friend for 13 years backstabbed me and lied to me for a whole summer. Yea it doesint sound big,but if I went into detail you will see he is a [edited out]. I’m sorry for using that word,but I just had to. For what he did I went crazy for a while and just couldint be happy and couldint go to school. I had to go to thearpy for gods sake. So how can I fogive him for that. Now i’m back to normal, happy again and back in school. So yea I agree sometimes you should forgive,but if the harm that person did to you was really big he or she should never be forgiven.
March 29th, 2007 at 6:49 pm
I know how you feel. I really enjoyed this topic and agree with it entirely. Some of my friends and I have been in the worst of fights that last forever. I always feel horrible when it happens and so do they. But sometimes what they have done is not so easy to forgive, I remember when I got into a fight with my best friend over something so stupid, but I just didn’t want to see her get hurt. It lasted about 3 months and every time I saw her I realized how much I missed hanging out with her. I told her how I felt and she forgave me. The burden on my back was gone and I was relieved.
March 26th, 2008 at 1:33 pm
I like the topic and I myself don’t hold many grudges and believe that is help my friendships last and allowed me to enjoy life.